Do you know when you first held my hand? Do you know when you first left and I was left thinking about you? I closed the door and started running through the house of happiness, of happiness that you existed. When you first left and I was in your mind at every turn, at every intersection, at every overtaking.
You know the first time you said "good morning" to me as soon as you woke up, before you got to the office and before you drank your coffee, and we were both amazed, because you never did that. I was amazed that you woke up with me in mind and their thoughts were impatient and they were ahead of you. And you were amazed that I might be the one…
Do you know when I first came to you and you were so happy that you forgot to take that 2 ton luggage from my hand and took us in your arms together? When we went crazy just to get to see a ruined dam in the dark, because we were late. When everyone else was nervous it was night in the middle of the desert and there were no restaurants and bathrooms around, and all we cared about was holding each other and feeling neither hungry nor anything else. We fed on smiles and hugs and nothing mattered. We were doing a Hubba Bubba chewing contest on the subway and terrorizing them with soap bubbles from that thing flowing on the highway.
You know when I first left and you realized you might love me. When the longest week came, so that you could get in the car later, come and tell me to pack my bags because you can't help it. Do you know how much madness lay in you?
Do you know when you promised to make me happy? Do you know that there was a time when you were still concerned about this? It was a time when you really showed me that I was important, a time when I counted more than the videos in the news feed, a time when you shared your time with me and your friends, a time when you sent me emails about what I do through your soul and through your life. It was that time when you were paying attention to what I do and what I want, so that later you can do something spontaneous, and I, in the ecstasy of surprise, asked you: how did you know ??. You know that time between us when we didn't argue with shit and even though you don't call them quarrels, they are there, they gather and deform.
You know that time when we were not blamed for jokes or nerves, that time when we were attentive to words and cared for our relationship, as if it were something precious and we were aware that something was scratched or chipped. it loses its value. Now we are behaving like ready-made, pampered children who are priceless. We got rich too quickly with this love of ours, so we don't cherish it like we didn't have it. Maybe you got rich quick with me, maybe I should have kept my clothes in my luggage for a while.
Do you know how angry you were when I let you read from me and you saw how badly others managed to make me happy, do you know how frowning you were and you didn't understand how the hell they managed to make everything dust? You didn't understand what they had in mind. I think you're starting to understand now, I think you're starting to follow in their footsteps…
Do you know when I was making mistakes by mistake and you looked me in the eye and told me that you would never be like them? Do you know when you promised otherwise? Or maybe who knows, in my attempt to make you happy, I forgot to feel happy. You're happy, I'm starting to be forgotten. Maybe this happiness is moving from one to the other, who knows. Or maybe it's me at PMS.
Shall I tell you in the end that I love you? I don't even know… Maybe I showed you this too much…
