What's good about monogamy?
- You can have sex even when you feel fat, because you know she finds you desirable anyway.
- You can relax - it does not matter if you do not have an erection, she knows that sometimes it happens.
- You should not use a condom - you have both taken the AIDS test and do not sleep with anyone else.
- You can give up inhibitions - trust each other and you know that you will not be considered strange or perverse if you confess who knows what fantasy.
- You know that you will have a guaranteed orgasm - if you have taught each other what to do and you know which buttons to press.
- You like all kinds of sex, not just the voluptuous one. Sometimes you like the romantic and lazy genre, but regardless of gender, there is affection and intimacy between you.
- You smile when you wake up in the morning - instead of wondering how you landed there.
People mainly complain about two things about monogamy: sex can become a boring routine and the element of "novelty" does not exist. The last is the number one dissatisfaction even in the case of happy couples. "I love X, but we can't recreate that fabulous erotic feeling you have with someone you've never been to."
Games, fantasies put into practice, a variety so wide that you get dizzy, all this helps, indisputably. However, it is not the same as that "first time" with someone new. This is a profoundly negative aspect of monogamy. But if he is the only one, it means a relatively low price to pay for all the advantages offered by the loved one. For compensation, have sex with whoever you want - in the imagination.
Unleash unknowing fantasies about the office girl or best friend, but don't put the fantasy into practice, even if you could handle it without getting caught.
Every time you are tempted, do an exercise in imagination.
Imagine your partner's expression if he found out (and the amazing thing is that most people find out!). Think about how hurt he would be. Remember that he probably felt the same need, but he did not respect it for you. You have destroyed that special connection between you and you will never be able to look into his eyes again. Then imagine that your partner is so hurt that he leaves you. You broke his heart, you lost everything and you feel like a poison. Is it worth paying for that moment of the experience of a new body? If thinking about all this you think it was worth it, then it is time to end the relationship NOW. You don't want something "on the side", but you want to be independent.
Some sex therapists consider it normal for each of you to have "illegal" sexual encounters while you are together. What you don't know doesn't make you suffer, etc. Some do not agree with this. I have also seen countless meetings that they will not find out otherwise destroying happy couples. In any case, the crooked person considered himself to have made "the biggest mistake of my life."